Fucking Punk Rock Soccer Boozefest, Asshole

As of today, 1729 people on Diaryland list Moulin Rouge as a favorite movie. I have vacation time coming, so I'm going to take a week off and e-mail every one of these sad deluded fucknuts to ask which fucking movie they saw because it sure as shit wasn't Moulin Rouge! The Roommate recently bought this shitsmear and it was left in my DVD player to ambush me when I got home from work. I turned on the tv and BAM! Moulin Rouge. Fuck. My Laurence of Arabia in on the friggin floor and there is ass juice steaming from my machine. The only thing about this film I can reccommend is that you can leave. If you are in prison and being shown this film, maybe you shouln't have killed all them runaways in your basement. Serves you right, asshole. Normally good actors were painfully bad and unfunny. I guess it was suposed to be funny. If you have to buy it for some reason, buy it on vhs, for these reasons: 1. it's cheaper, but more importantly 2. it will be more fun to smash into pieces after you realize you've just purchased a two hour long Pringles commertial on Crystal Meth.

Speaking of Methamphedamines, I went down to Showcase Cinemas in Orange Connecticut, a typical suburban chain multiplex, and having just found a bazillion dollar bill in my old jeans I decided to visit the snack bar. They had a Slurpee-like beverage that was not, of course, called a slurpee. This cool refreshing frozen yet still carbonated drink was called an Ice Junkie.

Ice junkie.

Really.

Of all the people working for National Amusment Corporation, not one thought this was a bad idea? No one knew that an ice junkie is a methamphedamine addict? Can I get a cherry Crank Freak and some skittles, please? I'd like the jumbo size Glasshead with my junior mints. I'd like a small Scabies-Ridden Crystal Whore and a bucket of popcorn. I would have asked for a large Ice Junkie, but I was afraid they'd give me Rick James.

Oh, yeah. Also on my vacation I'm going to sign the guestbook of everyone who still thinks Uncle Bob is funny and tell them to read Opiuminjars instead. I fucking hate that unfunny asscleanser. Down with Bob!


Moulin Rouge, My Hatred Grows
2002-02-27 \| 1:02 a.m.
As of today, 1729 people on Diaryland list Moulin Rouge as a favorite movie. I have vacation time coming, so I'm going to take a week off and e-mail every one of these sad deluded fucknuts to ask which fucking movie they saw because it sure as shit wasn't Moulin Rouge! The Roommate recently bought this shitsmear and it was left in my DVD player to ambush me when I got home from work. I turned on the tv and BAM! Moulin Rouge. Fuck. My Laurence of Arabia in on the friggin floor and there is ass juice steaming from my machine. The only thing about this film I can reccommend is that you can leave. If you are in prison and being shown this film, maybe you shouln't have killed all them runaways in your basement. Serves you right, asshole. Normally good actors were painfully bad and unfunny. I guess it was suposed to be funny. If you have to buy it for some reason, buy it on vhs, for these reasons: 1. it's cheaper, but more importantly 2. it will be more fun to smash into pieces after you realize you've just purchased a two hour long Pringles commertial on Crystal Meth. Speaking of Methamphedamines, I went down to Showcase Cinemas in Orange Connecticut, a typical suburban chain multiplex, and having just found a bazillion dollar bill in my old jeans I decided to visit the snack bar. They had a Slurpee-like beverage that was not, of course, called a slurpee. This cool refreshing frozen yet still carbonated drink was called an Ice Junkie. Ice junkie. Really. Of all the people working for National Amusment Corporation, not one thought this was a bad idea? No one knew that an ice junkie is a methamphedamine addict? Can I get a cherry Crank Freak and some skittles, please? I'd like the jumbo size Glasshead with my junior mints. I'd like a small Scabies-Ridden Crystal Whore and a bucket of popcorn. I would have asked for a large Ice Junkie, but I was afraid they'd give me Rick James. Oh, yeah. Also on my vacation I'm going to sign the guestbook of everyone who still thinks Uncle Bob is funny and tell them to read Opiuminjars instead. I fucking hate that unfunny asscleanser. Down with Bob! PREVIOUS \| NEXT Damn it! - 2004-10-12 Strider Pineo - 2003-07-04 An open appology to the Dickless Fuck Midget - 2003-05-16 Googled Again - 2003-04-04 - - 2003-03-30 What's that fucking kitten doing now? - What is that crazy old bitch next door cooking? - How do I feel? How do you THINK I feel? I feel -		N Older Shit N Guestbook N Profile N Diaryland N Interview Me! N Links N Rings N Vote For Me!