Fucking Punk Rock Soccer Boozefest, Asshole

I hate April 20th. I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to work. I'd sit at home, watch the Revs WHOOP UP on The Crew, and not have to deal with the parade of chemically induced retardation around me. Unfortunatly, I was at work. I've prepared a brief timeline of 4-20-02.

8:30- Arrived at mall. Elderly mall walkers leaving. I get good parking space.

9:30- Mall opens. Too early for dope fiends to be awake. Set out entire stock of hackey sacks.

10:30- Still no potheads. Morning coffee hits bladder like a young Steven Segal. Half an hour until Jenn comes in.

11:00- Jenn arives. Piss hole in toilet.

11:30- Navy boys start to arive. Random testing keeps them off the doobie. Somewhere, a guy slips into a Dave Matthews shirt and looks for his roommate's pipe.

12:00- Wake and Bake army starts to leave domiciles. Most decide "Fuck it, man" and head back to the couch.

13:00- First hackey sack sold. Proclaimed "Righteous" by patron.

14:00- Take break. Discover the other reason I hate 4-20: There are no more Doritos to be found in the State of Connecticut.

15:00- Red-eyed customers stop in, ask if we sell "papers".

16:00- Hippies, White Rastas and Metalheads all dissapear. Dave Dukovny called. Revs v. Crew match begins

16:10- New Rev Twellman, who's name sounds like a Lucasfilm alien, scores first goal for Revs

16:20- A resounding "whoosh" is heard, later determined to be the entire State of Vermont inhaling. Disrupts weather paterns across New England. Thousands of birds die.

16:28- Revs score again! 2-0 New England.

17:00- Leave work. Highway deserted, except rest stop McDonalds. Taco Bell employees nationwide quit.


National Retard Day
2002-04-20 \| 7:21 p.m.
I hate April 20th. I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to work. I'd sit at home, watch the Revs WHOOP UP on The Crew, and not have to deal with the parade of chemically induced retardation around me. Unfortunatly, I was at work. I've prepared a brief timeline of 4-20-02. 8:30- Arrived at mall. Elderly mall walkers leaving. I get good parking space. 9:30- Mall opens. Too early for dope fiends to be awake. Set out entire stock of hackey sacks. 10:30- Still no potheads. Morning coffee hits bladder like a young Steven Segal. Half an hour until Jenn comes in. 11:00- Jenn arives. Piss hole in toilet. 11:30- Navy boys start to arive. Random testing keeps them off the doobie. Somewhere, a guy slips into a Dave Matthews shirt and looks for his roommate's pipe. 12:00- Wake and Bake army starts to leave domiciles. Most decide "Fuck it, man" and head back to the couch. 13:00- First hackey sack sold. Proclaimed "Righteous" by patron. 14:00- Take break. Discover the other reason I hate 4-20: There are no more Doritos to be found in the State of Connecticut. 15:00- Red-eyed customers stop in, ask if we sell "papers". 16:00- Hippies, White Rastas and Metalheads all dissapear. Dave Dukovny called. Revs v. Crew match begins 16:10- New Rev Twellman, who's name sounds like a Lucasfilm alien, scores first goal for Revs 16:20- A resounding "whoosh" is heard, later determined to be the entire State of Vermont inhaling. Disrupts weather paterns across New England. Thousands of birds die. 16:28- Revs score again! 2-0 New England. 17:00- Leave work. Highway deserted, except rest stop McDonalds. Taco Bell employees nationwide quit. PREVIOUS \| NEXT Damn it! - 2004-10-12 Strider Pineo - 2003-07-04 An open appology to the Dickless Fuck Midget - 2003-05-16 Googled Again - 2003-04-04 - - 2003-03-30 What's that fucking kitten doing now? - What is that crazy old bitch next door cooking? - How do I feel? How do you THINK I feel? I feel -		N Older Shit N Guestbook N Profile N Diaryland N Interview Me! N Links N Rings N Vote For Me!