Fucking Punk Rock Soccer Boozefest, Asshole

So my ride left me behind on Sunday and I missed the 2-0 asswhooping the Fire laid on the Revs. Ah, fuck.

This week the Back to School onslaught started at work and the yokels knocked the shit from their shoes and headed to the mall. It wasn't on the Weather Channel but a tornado hit Connecticut. It scooped up all the trailer parks and dropped them off at the Crystal Mall. Coming from such a bustling metropolis as New Haven, I am continually stunned by the cornponery and hee-hawism I witness everyday in Waterford. Families that seem to share a single tooth walk through my store, reading the tee shirts with careful precision. "DON'T...MAKE...ME...Un, Unlee, UNLEASH...THE...Oh, Own, ONE! ONE...LEG..GED...SPACE..ah, fuck it! Look, that one says POOP!"

And of course they need to show me the wonderful new tattoo the picked off the wall at Shakey's in Groton. Oh, a tiger. Great. What's that? Oh, yeah. Nice, a Taz in a tribal band. You rock, Jethro. Yee Haw. Fuckers.

Some days I'll go hours without seeing a customer without a Nascar hat and mullet combo. I thought the mullet would die after the big Ironic Mulletfest of 2000, but NO! The exposure and open ridicule of this, the most evil of mankind's haircuts, has not reached those who need it most! For Christ's sake! Children with mullets! Innocent children! I believe all hairdressers should report parents atempting to aquire mullets for their kids to the DCYS. As the Wesley Willis song goes: "Tell the barber 'I am tired of looking like an asshole' Cut the mullet"


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2002-08-20 \| 1:28 a.m.
So my ride left me behind on Sunday and I missed the 2-0 asswhooping the Fire laid on the Revs. Ah, fuck. This week the Back to School onslaught started at work and the yokels knocked the shit from their shoes and headed to the mall. It wasn't on the Weather Channel but a tornado hit Connecticut. It scooped up all the trailer parks and dropped them off at the Crystal Mall. Coming from such a bustling metropolis as New Haven, I am continually stunned by the cornponery and hee-hawism I witness everyday in Waterford. Families that seem to share a single tooth walk through my store, reading the tee shirts with careful precision. "DON'T...MAKE...ME...Un, Unlee, UNLEASH...THE...Oh, Own, ONE! ONE...LEG..GED...SPACE..ah, fuck it! Look, that one says POOP!" And of course they need to show me the wonderful new tattoo the picked off the wall at Shakey's in Groton. Oh, a tiger. Great. What's that? Oh, yeah. Nice, a Taz in a tribal band. You rock, Jethro. Yee Haw. Fuckers. Some days I'll go hours without seeing a customer without a Nascar hat and mullet combo. I thought the mullet would die after the big Ironic Mulletfest of 2000, but NO! The exposure and open ridicule of this, the most evil of mankind's haircuts, has not reached those who need it most! For Christ's sake! Children with mullets! Innocent children! I believe all hairdressers should report parents atempting to aquire mullets for their kids to the DCYS. As the Wesley Willis song goes: "Tell the barber 'I am tired of looking like an asshole' Cut the mullet" PREVIOUS \| NEXT Damn it! - 2004-10-12 Strider Pineo - 2003-07-04 An open appology to the Dickless Fuck Midget - 2003-05-16 Googled Again - 2003-04-04 - - 2003-03-30 What's that fucking kitten doing now? - The boot scootin boogie What is that crazy old bitch next door cooking? - grits n pits How do I feel? How do you THINK I feel? I feel - dirty		N Older Shit N Guestbook N Profile N Diaryland N Interview Me! N Links N Rings N Vote For Me!