Wee Kyle's Amazing Donut Adventure!

Way back in the day, when Wee Kyle was truly wee, he hung with this guy Todd. Now Todd and Kyle would tool around town in the Toddmobile until it was time to pick up Todd's girlfriend from her Donut Hut job. One night they noticed the huge amount of donuts being discarded at the end of her shift. Todd asked if they could keep the donuts and was allowed to bring three trashbags of tightly compressed donut loaf. Kyle thought it would be a blast to do some donut drive-bys and shit. But when he arrived at Todd's house the next day, Todd was sitting on the couch, eating handfuls of donut chunks straight out of the fifty gallon bag.

"Ahh, Hell no!" said Kyle! "These donuts will not be wasted on fattening your couch-bound ass. No, these donuts have a higher calling!"

Kyle's plan was this: It being the last night of summer vacation, why not dump all three bags of fried, sugary, goodness on the front steps of West Haven High School, so it could greet all the returning students.

And so it came to be that school buses arrived and vomited out their cargos of angsty zit farmers. Greeting them were the 150 gallon loaf of donut and THIRTY MILLION CRAZY BEES!

Children were stung, kids ran in terror, the custodian stood, shoveling donut and swearing in Italian. At the head of the jelly and stinging insect covered steps was principal Henrici shouting to the heavens "WHY? WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? WHY?"

Wee Kyle, that's who, mother fucker!