I see a lot of girls who don't know how ugly they are. They come into my store, acting like all men should bow before them, but most don't even have all their teeth. Are you ugly? If you answer yes to some or all of these question, DAMN! You ugly.

Did your parents remove the mirrors from your house when you were born?

Do they keep 40 watt bulbs in all lights in your house?

Is your boyfriend blind?

Do his friends call him "The Beastmaster" behind his back?

Do they call you "the Moped"?

Have small animals died when you looked at them?

Have you turned men to stone?

Do people frequently tell address you with "Hey, Ugly!"?

Did the limo driver give your prom date an airsick bag?

Do passerbys mutter "not even with YOUR dick, buddy"?

Is your face all fucked up looking?

You may be ugly.